About

Hi there!

Welcome to my new blog and thanks so much for stopping by.

What’s that?  You want to know more about me?  Awe shucks, I’m flattered!

Well, the short story is that I’m a mid-40s married woman with two grown foster daughters and a trio of senior furbabies.  My hobbies include reading, writing, embroidery, cross-stitch, drawing and general crafting.

The longer story is that I have Multiple Sclerosis (MS) and haven’t been able to work for several years.

UPDATE: As of Feb. 3, 2014, it’s been confirmed that I have Relapsing Progressive Multiple Sclerosis (RPMS) – considered to be the rarest form, my type of MS accounts for only 5% of the MS Community.

What it means is that I’ve had this progressive form for as long as I’ve had MS (as opposed to the less than two years I’ve been diagnosed), so around 25 to 30 years.  (Which finally explains a whole lot in my life!)  While I may always expect to have relapses, RPMS is NOT, thankfully, the most devastating form of MS.

Nevertheless, it’s already taken so much from me, that I do fear the future.  For now though, I still “look” perfectly normal, and can still walk short distances and drive for brief periods of time.  Though I do think my days of driving are numbered.

As my world continues to slowly but surely, to shrink, I am less and less able to do and enjoy my hobbies.  As a result, I spend far too much time online!

The upside to that is that over the years, I’ve made a few wonderful and invaluable friends right here in the virtual world.  And now I’m here hoping to make some more.

This will be a strictly personal blog touching on, well, pretty much whatever comes to mind.  I will be sharing the good and the bad.

I can’t promise you exciting content, but I hope you’ll swing back now and then to see what I’ve been up to.

Cheers! 🙂

EDIT – PLEASE NOTE:

I have added this since I’ve acquired a follower trying to sell a modern take on a snake oil cure. to sick people, in what is clearly a pyramid scheme.  He has ignored my request to un-follow me.

While leaving my post requesting that he do so, I sadly noticed that many folks had replied and seemed to think he was a genuine blogger.  I doubt it was even him personally who was seeking out new blogs to follow.  It was more than likely some kind of data mining software that he uses.

I personally hate people and companies that prey on consumers.  Were this person in Canada, I would have legal recourse, but after searching the help pages here at WordPress, there seems to be nothing I can do to actually get rid of him.

So just to be clear…

I am NOT interested in being sold anything, or in any way, endorsing or promoting ANY type of product, plan or service.

If I post about something I like and it happens to give the company it’s from or by, a little free publicity, then kudos for them.  In fact, you may even see that I will Follow in company blogs.  However, if I do it’s because I sought them out.  Not the other way around.  So PLEASE, DO NOT CONTACT, OR FOLLOW ME just to promote whatever it is you are offering.

I wish you well in whatever business you’re pursuing.  If and when I am interested in a new product or service, I will seek it out and you may hear from me at that point.

Until then, thank you for respecting my wishes.

36 thoughts on “About”

  2. I found your blog from a comment you left on Freethought Blogs about having MS. I have muscular dystrophy and type 1 diabetes. Living with chronic illness is hard. People don’t get it. Yesterday you could do ______. Today you cannot make your body do ______. You fake it, or hide it, or pretend to be OK. Then you have a private meltdown because you feel alone on planet chronic illness. You’re not alone! I too have gotten the message to turn to God for healing, and it doesn’t help. I started a blog for secular people who live with chronic illness. It’s there to inspire, and lift ,and give strength to people who struggle with chronic illness. You can find it at http://www.incurableatheist.com

    Keep writing. I like everything I have read so far. I’m looking forward to hearing more from you. Thanks for writing such a good blog. I’ll be back.

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  3. As a frequent visitor to my site (very much appreciated) I need an opinion. In the past week I’ve developed another site with Blogger. I’ve gone to the “dark side” and made it more commercial (offering products I’ve used or read) through Amazon. At present it is an experiment. I’ve posted some older stories to start with. I’d like for you to visit and render a thought or two or word or two. Here’s the link: http://jitterygoat.blogspot.com/
    Thanks much.

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  4. Love your about page… it is very real and genuine. I am sorry to hear that you have MS. For me, blogging has been a great way to get connected with others. Spammers? I really try to ignore them and they seem to go away. They’re annoying, kind of like telemarketers.

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    • Thank-you. I’m about to shut thing down right after hitting send, but as soon as I’m able I’ll be back with a proper response and take a peek at your blog too! But’d 5:00 AM for me and I really need a few hours sleep, as I’ve got a long-tiring day ahead of me.

      Until then, take care and feel free to dig through the rest of my blog. Despite appearances might lead you to this, I do have some posts of my own, lol!

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  5. My mother-in-law and one of my best friends have MS. My mother-in-law has deteriorated severely over the years, while my friend has fared far better. Insidious disease. Glad to hear that though your energy is sapped and your activity level impaired, you do not have the most serious form of MS. I will keep you in my thoughts, hopes, and prayers for remission.

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    • Thank you, Inkandpages, for stopping by, checking my blog out, and especially for the encouragement and praise! You just made a really crappy day feel a lot brighter!

      I didn’t start this blog to tackle any particular issue. I just wanted one place where I could speak my mind without having to worry about it biting me in the ass later. And to meet new friends.

      I have awesome offline or “real life” friends if you prefer, but they all work and/or are still raising kids. And I do have a great husband. But….

      Being sick all time, with rare “outings” that are usually medical appointments of one kind or another, I was going stir crazy. Having a blog is my way of reconnecting with the outside world. And if that means I can shine some light on some of the world’s unjustices, even better! 🙂

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  7. Hello! I got the chance to stop by and made this my first port of call or should that be post of call in the virtual world?

    I’m heading off to read some of your posts now but before I go I find that one of the most irritating things about WordPress, that you can’t block or cause a follower to leave you alone, i wonder what the reasoning is behind it? But by and large since I started blogging about my weight loss quest I have only encountered wonderful friendly supportive folk so all’s good, the spam mailbox tells a different story but thankfully it appears to be doing its thing.

    Do you mind if I ask what your early MS symptoms were and how it all developed? I’m interested and if there are blog posts to point me to then I’d love some links if I can’t come across them on my own search.

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    • Hi there! Thank you so much for stopping by! 🙂

      Sorry about the delayed response. I spent most of the previous three days going back and forth to the hospital to be treated for a relapse, so your questions are rather timely. Plus I had just written out a long reply and thanks to some feline help, it’s gone.

      I haven’t actually yet gotten around to posting “My Story” with regards to MS. That was my original with this blog, but right around the time I got started I kind of hit a wall. Emotionally speaking, I mean. In the course of a lifetime spent seeking help, I’ve told it so many times…and been scoffed at and rejected because initial tests never showed a damn thing. Nor were any of the “visible symptoms” permanent.

      Because I’m feeling rather raw at the moment, I’ll be completely honest and admit that I’m still pretty angry and bitter. Not just because of slipping through the cracks of the medical system, but more so because of the personal rejection and hostility I’ve had to repeatedly deal with…from strangers, acquaintances, so-called friends and worst of all, family – both blood and in-laws.

      I naively thought that once I had definitive proof I wasn’t just a whining wimp, folks would cut me some slack. Or at least Google the disease before passing out yet more unsolicited judgements and “medical advice,” so I rather eagerly told everyone. That didn’t quite work out as I’d hoped…

      Honestly, I’m just flat out tired of justifying my existence to people who aren’t even prepared to listen, or learn. I’m tired of being constantly judged. Tired of being compared to other people who have it so much worse than I do, yet manage to be upbeat and inspirational all the time. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great that they are and I do very much look-up to such people. But I’m not them, I do the best I can. Why is that not enough?

      Mostly, I’m just plain tired.

      I do have a post called “Other Multiple Sclerosis (MS) Resources,” dated March 21, 2014, that for some reason I can’t figure out how to link directly to. I’m using my smartphone at the moment and it well, frequently outsmarts me! (It’s easier on my eyes than the laptop.) And to be honest, my neurons are not firing on all pistons at the moment. (Yet another lovely “gift” from MS. Some people call it Cog Fog, I call it brain farts. Or vacations my mind takes without the rest of me!)

      Anyway, that post contains several links that will take you directly to some online MS resources. The links themselves are in red font and are hyperlinked so appear on screen as the site names, as opposed to the actual web address showing. I included a blurb for each site explaining what they offer. All are great places to learn more about MS.

      MS is essentially ongoing brain damage caused by the immune system attacking the body. Thinking of it like broken wiring. While the brain does grow new neurons and rewire itself (so to speak), the question of how badly one will be affected over their lifetime, is still very much unknown. And it’s different for every single person afflicted with it.

      As for me personally, though I wasn’t diagnosed until 2012, there were indications of it’s prescence going back as far as my mid to late teens, and possibly even as a young child. The thing about MS is that unless and until it causes permanent, visible mobility or other issues requiring the use of obvious medical aides, the symptoms are largely invisible. They can also easily be indicative of any number of other health issues, ranging from minor transient problems to fatal ones.

      The major symptoms for me were and continue to be, unexplained pain that pops up in various parts of my body, chronic migraines and tension headaches, waves of muscle weakness for no apparent reason, vision problems, chronic and crushing fatigue and digestive issues. To name a few…lol. 🙂

      I’ve seen too many doctors in my life to even recall, and have been misdiagnosed and treated, several times. It was only when my second bout of optic neuritis took about 50% of the vision in my left eye for several weeks in early 2012 – fifteen years after the first episode hit both eyes leaving me legally blind for 8 weeks – that my exceptionally alert and caring young eye doctor clued something was seriously wrong. It was thanks to him that I was finally referred to someone that took me seriously.

      Several tests, doctors and months later, my diagnosis was confirmed. The MRI results clearly show I have it, and have for a very long time. The worst part is that had an MRI been done the first time I woke up mostly blind, it could easily have been seen and possibly even treated. But, because I was young, 28 at the time – and still able to hold down a job despite several extended periods of time off to recupurate from what I now know were relapses – the neurologist who saw me just assumed it was hormones and stress.

      Wow, I guess I don’t need to tell “My Story” now…it appears I just did so responding to you! Whoops. I am definitely feeling raw tonight, I keep posting TMI! Wonder if that’s one of the litany of sides effects they talked about when plugging my IV in? Um yeah, we’ll blame it on that!

      Okay, as my username clearly states, I am a talker. I do tend to go overboard when responding to comments online, especially when fatigue and pain are spiking. Hope I haven’t scared you off? 🙂

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      • Not at all. I’m very interested in finding out as much as possible and I think you explain why so well, MS is one of ‘those’ illnesses/conditions/whatever it’s appropriate box is, that is misunderstood and I’ll admit to never having fully understood it and now I see why. I always thought it had a defined set of symptoms yet they seemed to shift from person to person and now I understand why at last.

        I’m sad that you have been abandoned by people you felt should have supported you, it’s a sad fact which I have become ever more aware of as I get older, that people are intrinsically very selfish, there are the odd few you come across in life who actually truly understand what love, caring, compassion is and who are able to put their own needs aside for a second and consider someone else.

        We have arrived at the point now where when I have tried to voluntarily do good for someone else I have been accused of so many horrible things that I wonder why I continue to bother, but as there are those who are intrinsically selfish, there are those who are intrinsically unselfish… if only we all wore a badge of empathy, caring or understanding, how much simpler life would be!

        I’ve been reading a number of your posts and shall read those you have suggested. It amazes me that anyone could actually think for one moment that a person would be anything less than fed up (besides scared, frustrated, saddened and confused) by a life changing condition. One can only hope that their lives continue to be blissful such that they never have to experience it for themselves.

        Never apologise for writing too much, if I was to do that I’d be apologising all of the time 😀

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        • Awe, more tears coming on. But the good kind this time!

          I don’t expect folks to automatically know or understand and I certainly don’t expect them to run off and educate themselves after encountering me. But I do take exception to people going off on me for no valid reason.

          Heck, I certainly didn’t understand enough about it to explain a damn thing for about year after finding out. I’m not a doctor and it made zero sense until I calmed down enough to do a lot of research. I’m still learning and most of what I do know is all hindsight. As I think I alluded to earlier, it’s only now that my past is starting to make sense.

          I think the biggest reason I don’t get the major disconnect, rudeness and hostility, is that I helped care for my physically disabled mother from childhood until her death a few years ago. I saw that cruelty all too often because you couldn’t “see” what was wrong with her either. To others she was just a fat lazy woman with a bunch of kids. She was neither lazy or a whiner, and had strength I can only dream of. I don’t understand where my estranged siblings get their cavelier attitudes from or what family they think it is they were raised in. I tried repeatedly over the years to make it work, but I finally gave up. It’s just not worth the effort.

          I am finally going to shut things down for the night…it being dawn now… 😉 Hope you have a great day!

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  8. I wanted to find out who you are! My dad also suffered from MS. Back then it hadn’t been categorized into types, but reading your “About” I did a little research and I would say his was the kind with remissions and relapses. I am sure I will never know how much growing up with him and that reality made me me. I started writing a blog on WordPress as a way to attract readers to my novels. I started doing the prompt a day without much interest or hope but, to my surprise, some of my favorite writing EVER has shown up there! That’s been fun and while I wasn’t looking for my voice, I found it has a wider range than I know. I seldom write about stuff like my post on my student with the learning problems since I kind of like to use this as a place for myself to be me, rather than the function of teacher. In a way, I think, that’s similar to your wanting to reclaim a place in the “land of the living.” I’ve only been at it since December, but “I guess I like it fine so far.” I will read around in your blog as I get the chance. Anyway, thanks for all your thoughtful remarks on my post this evening!

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    • And thank you for stopping by! I’ve only been on here since January myself. So far, I’ve spent more time commenting on other people’s blogs than writing for my own! It’s just so much fun meeting people here! 🙂

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  10. I am really glad to be connected with you in the blogosphere! and looking forward to checking in from time to time. also, this is my favorite kind of blog to flow – the personal ones that just vary and well, I also hate the followers that try to sell stuff – and I am sorry about the snake oil issue. I and not had this happen on a blog – but we had some friends – make that short term acquaintances – that were into pyramid schemes and MLM – and it was horrible to feel hounded on so many things. from their berry juice to some kind of foreign bank notes… argh.

    anyhow, have a great day and see you in blog land. 🙂

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    • Ah, perhaps the “magical” acai (sp?) berry garbage? That one has been making the rounds worldwide. Hubby had a boss try very aggressive to force us into buying it. Eventually got mad, debunked it and told him to back off!

      Great meeting you as well! 🙂

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  11. Hi! Thought I’d pop over here after you replied to my comment on Matt’s blog. I wanted to respond to you there but there was no reply button (?). I just wanted to say, thank you for taking the time to respond to my comments over there. It was kind of you to take the time to reach out. I have long thought about an anonymous blog, but I feel I am so attached to the one I’m currently using. It’s almost like one of my children. I finally have reached a point of having a readership and making some great connections so I definitely don’t want to start over. I do think at some point I may do an anonymous blog in addition to the current one. That of course will have to be when I have more time to devote to blogging than I do now!

    I feel like through my writing on my blog over the last six months I have found my voice. It has been incredibly rewarding and therapeutic. I have always wanted to “be a writer” and blogging has to a great extent satisfied that itch. Now that I’ve found my voice, I have more I want to say. Some of those things will have to wait for anonymity. They are things that involve and affect other people and I need to honor their need for privacy. I am referring to people I love and respect who are very supportive of me, but I can’t put my need before their need for privacy. Anyways, thank you for reaching out to me on Matt’s blog! I love his blog, it’s the first one I started following when I got on WP and he is a gifted writer. I am going to follow yours as well and I look forward to getting to “know” you! Best of luck on your blogging journey!

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    • Hi Gretchen,

      You are most welcome! And thank you for dropping by “my place.” Lol. 🙂

      I agree with you about Matt. He is very gifted and has a knack for bringing the best out in people. I think he might be the first one I started following too!

      I can certainly understand not wanting to hurt anyone and not having the time for two blogs. Though I hope you get the time soon, because blogging *is* theraputic! I’m not really sure why, but it is like journalling, yet different.

      I guess at the end of the day, we all just need to feel as though we are being heard. Truly heard, I mean.

      Thank you again for visiting and for following my blog! I was just shutting things down when you replied to my comment last night so I think I’ll trot over to see yours now. 🙂

      Best wishes.

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    • You’re welcome! I’m looking forward to exploring more on your blog as I have only read a small portion so far. But I liked it so much I immediately hit the “Follow” button! 🙂

      And thank you for the compliment on my “About” page. I hope you get a chance to read and comment on some of my content soon. It’s a new blog so I haven’t yet added too much in the way of quality content that’s actually mine snd not something I’ve re-posted.

      Though to be clear, I personally feel that anything I choose to re-post is very much quality, often important, content. Especially ones having to do with human and animal rights. It is my hope, that by re-blogging posts dealing with such relevent and hot button issues, even to my small audience, it will help to open minds, thus making the world a wee bit better.

      A few the posts that are actually mine and that I’m rather pleased with, are the ones I’d really appreciate more feedback on, are:

      • My Dog, The Teacher
      • New Body, Please?
      • Opinions: Everybody’s Got One

      Okay, this is way too long of a reply and I’m pretty sure I’ve broken at least a few “Blog Etiquette” rules too boot! My apologies. I’m overtired at the moment and tend to babble when I get this way 🙂

      Hope you’ll forgive me… 😉

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  14. Incredibly well written. I look forward to reading more.
    Likely you have heard the expression when referring to writing, ‘find your own voice.’ As time goes by your blog will find a particular voice, a rhythm, a pace, and tone. At times it will surprise you. Keep writing with the same honesty and clarity you exhibit now.

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    • By the way, it occurs to me that I haven’t yet thanked you for providing me with the inspiration, via your original comments, to appropriately rename me blog to it’s current name, “Seeking My Lost Voice.”

      That, in a nutshell, is why I started this thing. For too long I have let others shut me down and make feel that I did not, in fact, have anything worthwhile to contribute or say. Unless, of course, they wanted something.

      I don’t think I will ever enjoy confontation, but I have finally reached a point where I will be damned if I’m just going to roll over and accept judgements based on zero facts, being pushed on me anymore. I may be fast losing my mobility and independence, but I will NOT ever again let people try to take my voice away as well!

      So thank you, Kenton, once again for your kind words and your unintended inspiration! 🙂

      Wordsgood

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      • It sounds as if you have plenty of fuel for some good writing. All those times you rolled-over, now’s the time to re-write the wrongs.
        Continue to write good stuff.

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