Or more accurately, why I blog the way I do.
What with all the various reblogs on a wide range of topics that I’ve been checkering my blog with since I started a few months ago, some might wonder if I have an actual purpose in mind. A voice, so to speak.
To be honest, the only real goal I had when starting this blog, was to have a place that was mine.
A place that where I could speak my mind and not have to worry about what other people are going to say. That’s the beauty of being able to write anonymously, and to also having the power to approve or deny comments.
You see, I am fully aware the very people I don’t want to ever find out about this blog, may eventually do so.
And despite the fact that I have not yet, nor have intentions of ever doing so, slamming them in any way – or returning the “favour” of saying about them all the nasty things they have said, and in some cases, continue to say, about me – I cannot bring myself to stoop to their level. Though it is, make no mistake, bloody tempting at times!
I wanted a place where I could tell my story, and be heard, but not judged. In the short time I’ve been here, I’ve been welcomed and encouraged by so many wonderful people.
I hope I can be as supportive of them, as they have been to me. And I hope to support and encourage other new bloggers. Eventually, I hope I can gain the courage to tell my story. I’m not seeking sympathy, just compassion. And connection to other people.
I do have some wonderful “offline” friends. They don’t judge me or my multitude of health problems, and their unwavering support – especially in the last few years as my life has been more or less imploding around me, has meant the world to me – but they all have busy lives.
It’s hard to stay positive when your own family betrays you, cuts you out the minute you are no longer useful. It’s hard to stay positive when others – who you are powerless to completely cut out of your life – spend so much time calling you filthy names, gossiping about you and in general, do their level best to break up your marriage.
It’s hard to stay positive when you are in pain 24/7, year after year. Especially when despite have excellent medical coverage, you still can’t get the medical profession to care enough to help you.
As to the question of why I’ve been reblogging so many posts from other blogs, the answer is simple. I reblog posts that I feel need to be shared as widely as possibly.
Oh shit. Please pardon my French, but I’m having yet another on of “those” moments right bloody now. I’m going to do something I don’t normally do and actually hit the Publish button, rather that leave this the Drafts pile with all the others I’ve written, but never actually posted.